Mutual trust is the basic ingredient of all honest and effective human relationships. The husband and wife, the employer and employee, the customer and salesperson, the student and teacher, and members of the same team must be fastened with the bond of mutual trust or the relationship becomes ineffective.
Mutual trust is not always easy to adopt. The other person may be disagreeable, unfriendly, unlikable, a rival, or do things which you oppose. It may require an extra measure of mental discipline to ignore the other person’s negative characteristics and identify the real person, the person of ability, and basic goodness. You may be hurt occasionally by individuals who violate the trust placed in them.
But the benefits of mutual trust far outweigh the small number of incidents in which it proves difficult or a disadvantage.
Mutual trust means each person has trust in the other. If you want to achieve this relationship with others then it must begin with you. You must be basically honest. Honesty crops out into sincerity. And sincerity is the mold for mutual trust.
Doctors must have the sincerity to instill confidence in their patients; lawyers must have it to create rapport with clients; executives must have it to inspire employees; salespeople must have it to persuade customers to buy; great politicians have attracted votes with it.
Sincere people are those who have ideas, values, beliefs and conform to them. They project these characteristics to others.
Make it Easy for People to Work with You
People are more effective, more energetic when working with others they like. So you will get what you want out of life only if you can get along with people. Getting along with others means that they like you and will do things for you. In other words, they react positively to your personality. Your personality is nothing more nor less than your attitudes in action. It is the way you communicate your thoughts about others and yourself. Here are some tips to make your personality pleasing, one that creates positive reactions in others:
- To have a friend, be one.
- The greatest hunger that people have is to be needed, wanted, and loved. Help satisfy, those feelings in others.
- Don’t try to impress others. Let them impress you.
- Be kind to people. You can’t always love them, but you can be kind to them.
- Learn to like yourself. Others will respond to you the way you respond to yourself.
- Be enthusiastic. Nothing significant was ever achieved without enthusiasm-including deep, rich human relationships.
- Be positive. Positive people attract others; negative people repel others.
- Do things to make people feel important. Write a letter. Give a compliment. Say, “Thank you.” Praise. Encourage. Support. Cooperate.
- Sticking up for your “rights” is great, but do you always have to be right? Letting the other person be right once in a while will keep friendships warm.
- Be a good listener. You can have a greater effect on others by the way that you listen rather than by the way that you talk.
- Unless you can say something worthy about a person, say nothing.
- Call a person by name. Use it often in your conversation.
- Smile. Be pleasant. Talk about the brighter things in life.
- Avoid arguments.
- If you’re going to make fun of someone, make sure it’s you.
- Help people like themselves. The greatest compliment someone can give you is to say, “I like myself better when I’m with you.”
- Be genuinely interested in others. Get them to talk about themselves. Ask for their opinions, ideas, viewpoints.
Admit Your Mistakes
If you know the other person will admit to being wrong, you feel more secure in that relationship. You have more trust in that person. Others will feel the same way about you if they know you are honest enough to admit it when you’re wrong.
These words are wondrously refreshing and too little heard:
“I made a mistake.”
“I am wrong.”
“I admit I was in error.”
What a rare quality that is in people! Especially if the admission was made about something that would not otherwise be noticed.
- Try saying to your family when you’re on the losing end of a discussion, “You are right and I am wrong!”
- Step forward on your job and say, “I have made an error. I would like your advice and help to correct it!”
- Try saying to your customer, “I don’t know,” or “This mistake is mine.” Don’t shift it on to the factory, the billing department, or that poor secretary trying to read your orders.