How To Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness

How To Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness
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Do you have a fear of judgment, fear of crowds, or concern of saying the wrong thing? Perhaps they all make you run the other way. Fear is one factor that can keep you away from situations… Specifically, situations where you have to interact with others. While in the short term, avoiding certain situations can relieve your fear, it will only reinforce your social anxiety in the long term. Cause you’re not doing anything about it! So Let’s check out some tips/ways to Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness.

Understanding Social Anxiety and Shyness

Social anxiety and shyness are two common conditions that affect many individuals. Understanding the characteristics of these conditions is the first step towards overcoming them.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a persistent fear or anxiety of social situations where individuals feel they may be judged, evaluated, or embarrassed by others. This fear can be so intense that it interferes with daily life activities, personal relationships, and work performance. Some common symptoms of social anxiety include excessive sweating, trembling, blushing, and difficulty speaking.


Shyness is different from social anxiety, although it can sometimes occur at the same time. It is a personality trait characterized by nervousness, awkwardness, and discomfort in social situations. It can interfere with an individual’s ability to make friends, form relationships, and interact with others. Shyness can also lead to self-doubt and social isolation.

Both social anxiety and shyness can have a significant impact on an individual’s overall well-being and quality of life. However, with the right strategies and techniques, overcoming these conditions and thriving in social situations is possible.

Gradual Exposure and Desensitization: Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness

Gradual exposure and desensitization are powerful techniques that can help individuals overcome social anxiety and shyness. Through a systematic process of facing fears in a safe and controlled environment, individuals can build resilience and confidence in social situations.

This process begins with setting goals and creating an exposure hierarchy. Start by identifying social situations that trigger anxiety or shyness, and then rank them from least to most challenging. This might include making eye contact with strangers, initiating a conversation with a coworker, or attending a social event.

Once you have identified these situations, the next step is to gradually face them, starting with the least challenging and working your way up the hierarchy. This might involve practicing eye contact with a friend or family member, then with a stranger, and eventually with a group of people. Each time you face a challenging situation, stay in it long enough to desensitize yourself to the anxiety or discomfort.

Blushing In Front of Everyone

Blushing is a common symptom of social anxiety. Whenever you’re singled out or made the center of attention, you probably find that you are blushing, and you know just how awkward this can be. While you may never completely stop blushing, there is something that might help. Try monitoring your thoughts about the situation. Say things to yourself like, “People are probably not noticing as much as I think they are.”

Panicking if Asked To Meet New People

Meeting new people can be much worse when you have social anxiety. You panic just thinking about it! A first meeting takes the stress of talking to someone, to know someone. It’s a good kind of stress, though, at least if your meeting goes well. If you suffer from social anxiety, it’s best to choose an activity that either gives you something to talk about or doesn’t require you to talk the whole time. Also, try not to sweat it, even if things get uncomfortable. We’ve all recovered from embarrassing meeting mistakes.

Standing Alone at a Party 

Most likely, you don’t even want to go to the party, but your friend forces you to go. Once you get there, your friend goes off chatting with people, and you find yourself alone. You need to do something, and at this point, small talk will be the key. Making small talk is usually easier if you plan what to say in advance. If you don’t know someone, try topics like weather, news, sports, or you can mention something about the party. But try to keep it positive. If you know the person well, you can mention something that connects the two of you, be it from the past or present. But again, try to keep it somewhat positive. In any case, if you find yourself alone at a party or gathering, look for someone who also seems to be lacking company. Offer an opener such as “Quite the weather we’re having, don’t you think?” Now, this doesn’t sound too original or exciting, but it will be enough to start a conversation.

Talking About Taboo Subjects

People get uncomfortable talking to each other about all sorts of things – money, religion, politics, and so on. Even more so if you have social anxiety, however, there’s a lot we can learn from other perspectives on all topics. The key is to stick to the facts and try to find common ground when discussing controversial subjects.

Not Knowing Any of Your Neighbors

Are you afraid to talk to your neighbors? Perhaps you worry that they have negative thoughts about you. But unless you gave them a reason to, this is probably not the case. They don’t even know you! Simply offer a smile or say hello. You can also offer to help. For example, offer to help with groceries or hold the door for them. It’s that easy.

Being Taken Advantage of 

People with social anxiety often lack assertiveness. They’re afraid of upsetting others or being judged negatively. However, being more assertive can help a lot. It’s a skill that can improve relationships. It lets others know what you need and what you expect. Practice being assertive by calmly stating your needs and listening to others’ needs as well. This way, you can reach a compromise.

Giving Up on Things Because of Your Social Anxiety 

You might be excited about starting a new venture, but, your social anxiety keeps getting in the way. You give up before you even try! Don’t give up on your goals because of social anxiety. It’s still possible to achieve what you want in life. Set goals for yourself and work towards them—either by using self-help books or with the help of someone you trust – like a friend, a relative, or a professional.

How To Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness

Spending Holidays Alone

Many people with social anxiety feel alone on special days of the year, such as Valentine’s Day, office holidays, festivals, New Year’s, and even on their birthdays. Try making those days feel like any other day of the year. Or, plan something special to do for yourself.

When You Feel Misunderstood 

People with social anxiety are often misunderstood by others. You may be asked why you’re so “quiet” or why you don’t speak up more. It’s best to think in advance about how you will respond to this situation the next time it happens. This way you won’t be caught off guard and have nothing to say in reply. You can respond with something like: “I get that a lot. Once you get to know me I can be quite talkative.” 


Social anxiety can take over your life. It can control everything you do or don’t do. You probably don’t want to live your entire life this way, so you should consider breaking free from this rut. To get started, do something that is totally out of your comfort zone. Try signing up for a class or an activity that requires you to be around people, go to parties, and social gatherings, and try to talk to new people. The only way you can conquer a fear is to face it.

Try to learn basic social norms. The basic principles of social interactions can be learned from books, courses, or socially savvy people. Knowing them and applying them will aid you in adjusting your social behavior to the situation. However, beyond the basic principles, everything else can only be learned through experience. No other person can tell you exactly what to do and say during social interaction.


What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is an intense fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in social situations. It can cause significant distress and impair one’s ability to interact and engage with others.

What is shyness?

Shyness is a feeling of discomfort or apprehension in social situations. It is characterized by a tendency to withdraw or avoid social interactions, often due to fear of judgment or rejection.

Why is it important to overcome social anxiety and shyness?

Overcoming social anxiety and shyness can greatly improve one’s quality of life. It can lead to increased self-confidence, improved relationships, and the ability to participate more fully in social activities and opportunities.

How can gradual exposure and desensitization help overcome social anxiety and shyness?

Gradual exposure and desensitization involve gradually facing fears and challenging avoidance behaviors in a controlled and supportive manner. This can help build resilience and confidence, allowing individuals to gradually overcome social anxiety and shyness.

How can I start my journey towards overcoming social anxiety and shyness?

You can start by gaining a deeper understanding of social anxiety and shyness, building self-confidence, developing effective communication skills, utilizing gradual exposure and desensitization techniques, and incorporating mindfulness and self-care practices into your daily life. It’s important to take small steps and seek support from professionals if needed.

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  1. What's up, after reading this awesome piece of writing i am too glad to share my
    familiarity here with colleagues.

  2. Thank you.Glad you like it

  3. I hate going to parties where I know no one. I never know what to say and sometimes people aren't very friendly. I'm much better in social settings where I have a purpose or a reason to be there. Then I seem to come out of my shell.

  4. These are such great tips! I have never really had social anxiety but I know a lot of people who do.

  5. I have always been anxious around large crowds, i just feel uncomfortable. I know i should deal with it and these tips should help.

  6. There are so many ways to try and overcome the feeling of anxiety. I just shared the post with a friend. She's been dealing with it around crowds lately.

  7. I have never minded large crowds as long as I was not the center of attention. My younger sister on the other hand seems to blossom when put in the spotlight. Which has served me well on many occasions as I've let her speak for both of us at events that required us to speak.

  8. The basic form of anxiety is when you face the public. I like how you tackle each points and tips. Thanks!

  9. I used to be very shy but now I'm not anymore. It was a learning curve but the more I went out and put myself out there, the less shy I became. I used to worry about going to events but now I can't wait to go.

  10. I use to be shy like this but now I am quite the opposite. I think having 4 boys has helped with that.

  11. I have always struggled with social anxiety. A lot of the things you mentioned is what I struggled with and still do (not as much) at times. Your tips for overcoming a lot of these were great.

  12. Such a helpful post. I used to struggle with this but it is much better as I've gotten older. Most of the time, the thought of what could happen or go wrong never actually happens. I agree with you that the only way to conquer fear is to face it. Thanks so much for sharing.

  13. I struggle with social anxiety. Sometimes I'm fine, other times not so much. People wear me out. Thanks so much for sharing this with us!

  14. I'm working on this because I am rather shy. I prefer NOT to be in crowds. But sometimes I have to and I just take deep breaths and go for it.

  15. thankyou for sharing this topic.. will be very helpful to people who are dealing with social anxiety

  16. Love this article, for some reason I always panic when meeting new people. It is very hard when you feel this way. thanks so much for sharing this article!

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